me talking 9

Sunday, May 24, 1998
I call him to ask how he is doing and find out he found a job as editor. He is going to make enough money to pay most of Amex and then come over here. He says the music time is over and he now realizes that it was one of his manic-depressive stages. He wants to see a doctor, he wants someplace to call home and he wants me.
Why do I love him, I'll never know. Do I want him, I don't know.
It may be a good idea to meet in NY and see how we feel. He wants to see a doctor over there, the last one he saw before he left. I was not crazy about his recommendations. It may also be a good chance to get a divorce. I did not tell him about that yet.
Maybe I should see a doctor too maybe the same one.
I don't trust him at all. I almost know he is going to leave again soon. But even the remotest thought of "happy together forever" is so…
At work, S left for M T, E is leaving for Switzerland, S is promoted. I work hard.
I had sort of a one-night stand with a German guy, Oliver, from. We did not really do it, but came pretty close. It could have turned into something but his pregnant wife showed up! They had broken up but she wants him back, they don't know whose kid it is by the way. And C reemerged!
God help me.
A is here for a month, which is really cool.