me talking 8
Saturday, April 18, 1998
I went to Edinburgh to see him. It wasn't easy, now my father is not talking to me and my mother is only talking to yell and complain. C looks and lives like a homeless guy, doesn't have a penny. He doesn't want to leave that place and have a normal life. What he is after is a record deal and I don't know how he will get it. Not that his music is bad, but these things are so hard and he is not 18 anymore. Psoriasis is all over his body now and he is not happy. I told him that this was the last time we were seeing each other and he told me "how can you say that?" and that was it. Now I am left with a marriage and over $6000 to pay. I have got to get out of this place though. Living with my parents is killing me slowly, and they are not happy either. The problem is I won't have the money anytime soon. (Shouldn't forget to play Lotto regularly). It turns out I spent $622 in NY. I thought it was only $300. Stupid me.
Life is being very hard on me. C was the biggest mistake of my life and now how long will it take me to recover from it?
I am still hoping that somehow he will come to his senses or hopefully get a record deal in deed and pay for his debt. Amex is cancelled and they may report this to credit agencies.
My mother is telling me that I shamed them by sleeping with men that I was not married to. How dare they get so far into my privacy? They don't even understand that there is something called privacy. I may have hurt them by not telling them some things but were they tellable?
Sometimes I think that maybe staying at ANS (away from here) would have been better. The only thing that's working in my life is my job right now and it's taking a lot of my time. And coming home at night is a nightmare. A friend of B is looking for a roommate. The place looks nice from outside. But I won't be able to afford it for a while if I want to pay these debts. I will have to go to NY before July 18th, and I hope I can fix this green-card problem then. It's going to cost me a lot. Everything I have done for the last few years is costing me a lot in fact.
I have a lot of gray hair on my head. My face and my neck are breaking out. I am not happy damned. I need money, more than what I am making now and quick.
If I give him enough money to go to London to get some editing jobs, he may be able to pay me some. But would I be pushing myself deeper into the debt I don't know.
I am afraid I am going to explode somehow or that a health problem would arise.
Hopefully sometime very soon, I will look at these and say, "glad it's over".
I went to Edinburgh to see him. It wasn't easy, now my father is not talking to me and my mother is only talking to yell and complain. C looks and lives like a homeless guy, doesn't have a penny. He doesn't want to leave that place and have a normal life. What he is after is a record deal and I don't know how he will get it. Not that his music is bad, but these things are so hard and he is not 18 anymore. Psoriasis is all over his body now and he is not happy. I told him that this was the last time we were seeing each other and he told me "how can you say that?" and that was it. Now I am left with a marriage and over $6000 to pay. I have got to get out of this place though. Living with my parents is killing me slowly, and they are not happy either. The problem is I won't have the money anytime soon. (Shouldn't forget to play Lotto regularly). It turns out I spent $622 in NY. I thought it was only $300. Stupid me.
Life is being very hard on me. C was the biggest mistake of my life and now how long will it take me to recover from it?
I am still hoping that somehow he will come to his senses or hopefully get a record deal in deed and pay for his debt. Amex is cancelled and they may report this to credit agencies.
My mother is telling me that I shamed them by sleeping with men that I was not married to. How dare they get so far into my privacy? They don't even understand that there is something called privacy. I may have hurt them by not telling them some things but were they tellable?
Sometimes I think that maybe staying at ANS (away from here) would have been better. The only thing that's working in my life is my job right now and it's taking a lot of my time. And coming home at night is a nightmare. A friend of B is looking for a roommate. The place looks nice from outside. But I won't be able to afford it for a while if I want to pay these debts. I will have to go to NY before July 18th, and I hope I can fix this green-card problem then. It's going to cost me a lot. Everything I have done for the last few years is costing me a lot in fact.
I have a lot of gray hair on my head. My face and my neck are breaking out. I am not happy damned. I need money, more than what I am making now and quick.
If I give him enough money to go to London to get some editing jobs, he may be able to pay me some. But would I be pushing myself deeper into the debt I don't know.
I am afraid I am going to explode somehow or that a health problem would arise.
Hopefully sometime very soon, I will look at these and say, "glad it's over".
posted by Goldfish @ 7:06 AM
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